Posts

How it began

   Wish I knew really.  My first childhood memory starts in 4th grade. Shockingly that was the year my mother and father divorced. I can’t tell you how old I was when I realized I have zero recollection of my childhood because I thought it was normal.  I mean you are a baby, a child. How can you possibly remember those days. I was flabbergasted the first time a friend mentioned a childhood memory. Seriously, that was a thing?     I often wonder if somehow I developed a dissociatiion disorder, but doubtful.  Years of therapy and ultimately I chose not to undergo hypnosis as clearly my brain had blocked everything to protect my emotionally fragile state.     I have clues of what happened.  A lifetime of nightmares.  Recurring nightmares.  That each time would add something to the previous time. Another clue.  My first sexual experience. Boyfriend claimed I wasn’t a virgin. I didn’t understand the implications of that until many years later.  I was just upset he was calling me a liar. I b